How to Talk About Difficult Things Without It Becoming a Row
Some conversations are tricky before you even start
9/7/20251 min read
How to Talk About Difficult Things Without It Becoming a Row
Some conversations are tricky before you even start – money, intimacy, parenting decisions, health changes, or big life choices.
Many couples avoid these topics for fear it will turn into another argument. Others dive in and find themselves in conflict within minutes. But it is possible to have honest conversations without them escalating.
Why Difficult Conversations Turn into Rows
Feeling unheard – so you raise your voice or repeat yourself
Assuming bad intent – believing your partner “should know better”
Emotional flooding – the body’s fight-or-flight response kicks in
History – past arguments set a pattern of expectation
Tips for a Calmer Conversation
Choose your timing wisely – avoid starting big talks when you’re tired, stressed, or rushing out the door.
Use “I” statements – focus on your own feelings rather than blaming your partner.
Take breaks if needed – a pause isn’t avoiding the issue; it’s giving both of you space to think.
Stay curious – ask open questions to understand your partner’s perspective.
How Therapy Can Support Difficult Conversations
In couples therapy, I help create a safe environment where you can explore the hard stuff without it spiralling. We practise skills that make conversations more productive – so you can address issues with respect and compassion.
Talking about difficult things doesn’t have to damage your relationship – it can actually make it stronger.
Book a free 30 minute Discovery call to see if Couples Therapy is for you
